February 11, 2009

Morons with Nailguns: Part Three

Our ongoing investigation into the depths of human stupidity continues with the story of Criss Angel. It appears that Criss is some sort of daredevil/stuntman/illusionist, kind of like a David Blaine for the Pantera crowd. It looks like he's done some work in Vegas as well as on some TV show called Mindfreak. We just stumbled across a video of him attempting to catch a nail shot from a framing gun.

After enough posturing to fill a WWF superdome (we're always suspect of someone who loves to show off their scars), the nail is shot, it busts through the glass that Criss is, for some reason, standing behind, and our dear stuntman ends up with the projectile impaled through his hand. The next few moments are of Criss running around frantically, yelling for an ambulance and using other words that form a nearly continuous bleep.

But we smell a rat here (or in Criss's case, a "ratt"). In our own days of careless stupidity, we've manually pulled back the safety on a framing gun and shot a nail across the room, but because there's really no barrel (and definitely no rifling), the nails quickly start flipping end over end and lose much of their power in a relatively short amount of time (don't even bother try it at home. It's not safe and not all that impressive either). We can't imagine any situation where a nail could break through glass and still have enough force to puncture a man's hand. But in Chriss's stunt, the nail goes through the glass, maintains 'spear-formation' and still manages to go in one side of his hand and out the other. Either the gun has had some military modifications, or Criss figures he'll capture more eyeballs by being a failure rather than a success. And as if the credibility of this stunt isn't threadbare enough, the 'official onlooker' of the event is Anthony Michael Hall. Apparently there were no carpenters in the audience, because everyone seems stunned at the results.

So the sad part here is that Criss is not really a moron with a nail gun, he only pretends to be one.

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Posted by Doug Mahoney at February 11, 2009 5:11 AM
Recent Comments

what an ass

Posted by: douglas at February 23, 2009 9:57 PM
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