Keith Walendowski: American Hero

On July 23rd, Keith Walendowski did what most of us only dream of doing. He woke up, began drinking heavily and tried to mow his lawn. When the mower wouldn't start, he got his shotgun and unloaded some ammo on the uncooperative machine.

We can understand how he must have felt (minus the early-morning blurred vision), and we have a hard time blaming him for his actions. We've been there and know how absolutely frustrating a lawnmower can be. Unfortunately for Keith, the local authorities weren't too thrilled that the gun he used was a short-barreled shotgun, possession of which is a felony. Our man is now looking at six or so years in the slammer.

The article on the event contains this hilarious line:

Dick Wagner of Wagner's Garden Mart, 6075 N. Green Bay Ave., said shooting the mower didn't help Walendowski's odds of getting it repaired.

"Anything not factory recommended would void the warranty," he said.

Read all about the incident here.

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